The prospecting…

Choosing the right person to seduce is more a matter of instinct than anything else. After all, most of us attempt to make conversation, or at least some eye contact, with a potential partner whom we consider to be about as attractive as we feel we are. However if you have ever noticed other couples, you will realize there is no rhyme or reason to individual tastes in looks.  You never know what another person’s idea of attractiveness is or how much a priority it is unless you step up and find out. Often the most attractive men and women are the most approachable. They feel good about themselves and are eager to share that positive self-image with others.

Once you've sought out your potential mate, you have to decide whether the timing and situation is right. If the person you wish is somebody you see on a regular basis, the time and place being wrong may add to the thrill, i.e. the danger factor. If you're getting the positive signals, the knowledge that the other person is interested, but not being able to do anything about it, at least at that particular moment can increase your feelings of arousal and excitement. Remember, timing is everything sometimes, but don’t let the opportunity slip away just because it is not the ”ideal” time.

Here is some simple positive strategy.  We will approach this as a male pursuing a female, however most of the techniques will work for a female pursuing a male. There are some obvious differences between the sexes and will highlight those as they come up.

Closing the deal…

If you're making progress and the signals are good (and you haven’t gotten “pull back”), it's time to move forward. Use touch, subtle caressing and closeness to continue progress.  Slowly getting closer and eventual penetrating her “space” will lead to the first kiss and more. Once you have gotten inside her personal space things should progress relatively fast at that point. Touching of the hair, stroking it, and gentle caresses are a natural path to a sexual result.  Be aggressive but conscious of her signals.  Forcing yourself too aggressively will only lead to problems…possibly big problems.  Always be positive in your words and actions.  When the moment is right even the most reluctant aggressor can tell when to move forward.


How do you know whether she's interested in you in the first place? Her actual body language is a better indicator of how she feels about you than anything she says verbally. For instance, women with an open posture are usually more amenable than those who stand with their arms crossed. Small gestures and tone of voice tell us a lot about how she might perceive us. Eye contact is also very revealing. With experience, you'll get a 'feel' whether she's interested or not.

Men, who are generally the pursuers, are highly dependent on women’s signals to reassure them that they are 'onto something' and at least have a chance. Playing hard-to-get isn't particularly attractive to men unless there are enough signals sent out to assure that the woman is indeed 'gettable' and that the chase will be worth doing. Men also should be open to being pursued.  Increasingly women are taking the initiative and keeping approachable rather then being standoffish can open up great opportunities.


Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever. -Unknown

Following up…

Once you've made contact with her, you'll need to let her know where the encounter is likely to be heading. People have a wide range in tastes of sexual activities, so it's important that you both know that you're looking for the same things. You should probably not blurt out something too obvious. You can, and that may work, but in general, the subtle approach is more likely to succeed.

You need to ask subtle probing questions that will try to access whether you'd make a compatible sex partner. Using vague references to various sexual activities or leanings will give you meaningful hints to her desires. If everything goes along smoothly, there might be a slightly tense, but hopefully, pleasant exchange of ‘self-probing’ back and forth conversation. People typically discuss sex in a casual light-hearted, abstract manner when accessing a potential partner, testing each other in a non-committal way.

Now that you're speaking, you have to sustain her interest. Two people, who may have been attracted to each other visually, may not have the right chemistry to move along the road of seduction. Look for signs of acceptance or rejection. If you pick up on any signs of rejection, don't waste your time on something that is very unlikely to happen, no matter how attractive she might be. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and to force things will lead to frustration of both parties

Seduction as a strategy

Dr. Hans Rauk, PHD

Seduction is a subtle strategy with the ultimate goal in mind of attracting and having sexual relations with a chosen partner. Seduction is an aggressive form of flirting and is often a natural progression from the successful contact flirting. Creating a strategy helps establish a goal to focus on.  This leads to being aware of the details as the hunt progresses.

Having sex may be the ultimate goal, but for some, the thrill of seduction lies in the pursuit rather than the actual conquest. For others, just knowing that another person’s sexual attention is focused on them gives them that sexual and emotional high. The excitement of wanting and chasing someone can give a sense of satisfaction in itself, but used to extreme can lead to hurt feelings for your target(s).

Generally, people with a great deal of self-confidence enjoy the pursuit more than those who are shy and introverted, and their belief in themselves increases the likelihood of success. However with the right situation even the most shy can employ smart strategies to success.  Factors to achieving results are choosing the right partner to seduce, picking the right time and choosing the appropriate location. These may seem obvious, but they really do matter. The more you pay attention to the details, the more you will see positive results.